remember when you didnt know which band member was which
cuddling isn’t his forte he said
it is weird he said
ashton you lying fuck
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
It so confusing when people say “the boys.” Who are you talking about? 5 Seconds of Summer? One Direction? The Jonas Brothers? All 43 US Presidents? Nobody knows.
how to get a girls panties wet:
- kiss her roughly
- shove her down on the bed
- slip off her underwear
- slam dunk em in the toilet
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.